Sorry that I haven't posted anything recently. A lot has been going on, but not much has been changing. I haven't noticed may effects of the T yet, although to me it sounds as if my voice has gotten deeper, but I think I'm just imagining it.
I did find out the my Cousin Jake is also transitioning. (Jake is his new name) And it looks as if he is going to move down to Floyd at least for the summer, and we are going to do this together. Its really cool. I haven't seen him in over twenty years and to finally catch up and find out that we are both trans and both in the process of pursuing transition is too much of a coincidence to ignore.
In other news, tonight was one of those I really miss the life I lost when I got depressed sort of nights. I can't change it. Wish I could. I still miss the people that I lost because of all the things I did as part of my falling apart. It isn't that I don't take responsibility for my actions during December to March, but I wasn't myself and I wasn't in control of some of the things I did. They made sense in the insanity in my brain, but I hurt people very very very very much. I wish I could go back and change it. I wish I could make amends, but so far my apologies haven't been accepted. It will just take time and distance. I know that I'm not that person when I'm mentally healthy, but I know that I will have to prove that to the people that I hurt and let down. I just hope that one day I have the chance to show them. :)
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