Weird things that happen while transitioning in small towns

I had one of those weird moments happen tonight at work. I was cashiering and it was fifteen minutes to close when two guys came in looking for some fix-a-flat. I was fairly certain that I recognized one of them from my High School days, but I wasn't sure. By the time he made it to the register to check out I was positive that I had known him and that we had been friends, in fact we had almost dated in HS. I think he sort of recognized me too. He called me ma'am (I hate that) when he walked up to the register. I didn't react in any way to it, just smiled and continued checking out his purchased items. We looked each other in the eyes a couple of times and I think he had a moment when he thought he knew me, but he looked at my name tag and said "I called you ma'am a few moments ago, I'm really sorry." To which I replied "I won't hold it against you, it happens all the time" to which he responded "I'd hold it against me, I'd be pissed if someone did that to me." Then he walked away. I'm not entirely sure how I felt about it. He was one of those guys in school that I actually did like. I've thought about him over the years and even looked for him on FB and such, but doubted if our paths would ever cross again. Tonight they crossed, but it was as if the 40 years that I lived before becoming Aaron never happened. I know this is going to happen at times, more so because I live in a small town, but I don't exactly like it. It is hard to pretend that I didn't exist, but it is just as difficult to 'come out' over and over again as people from my past cross my path again. Its like I have to make a choice between my history and my sanity. I should have to choose. My past is a part of who I am. I was unable to have a boyhood, but I did have a childhood and school years and college and well, 40 years of a life. How to I have both without having to constantly make myself a target? I also had two younger boys come in the store, they were late teens to early 20's, both were very handsome in that young man sort of way. I found myself envying them. How I would love to have experienced my late teens and early 20's in a male body. The muscles, facial hair, the cocky self-confidence. Although, I was an awkward, geeky girl, so why would I assume that it would have been different had I been a boy? I think I would have probably done okay in the muscles department, but I still would have been a major nerd. Oh well. Unfortunately, I'll never know what kind of a boy I would have been, I can only become the man I want to be.

new horoscope, I like it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Eliphas Levi was a 19th-century author and hermetic magician whose work has had a major influence on Western mystery schools. The great secret of magic, he said, is fourfold: "to KNOW what has to be done, to WILL what is required, to DARE what must be attempted, and to KEEP SILENT with discernment." Your assignment, Libra, is to apply this approach to your love life. How can you create a relationship with love that will be a gift to the world and also make you smarter, kinder, and wilder? KNOW what magic you have to do. WILL yourself to do it. DARE to be ingenious and inspired. And don't tell anyone what you're doing until you achieve your goal.